Skinny Bunny Cleanse - Day 2

First off... HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! (In Italy if your reading this in the US)

Weight this morning: 202.8
Doing pretty well but have been tempted all day... Making myself a separate breakfast than Nate and him tempting me with all the noms he was eating before we went to my friends New Years Eve party. Oh Lord not eating anything at that party SUCKED! I wanted to eat everything sooooo badly. This is the most self control I have ever had. I so badly wanted to just eat a cupcake and tell myself "It's okay just start over next week" but I had to remind myself I am not only doing this to lose weight I have to do this for my health as well.

Today has been quite a struggle. Anyone that knows me know I LOVE food! OMG I will devour some food... I'm kind of a food addict I guess you can say.  This is gonna start getting deep.

When I was younger, like junior high and high school I was pretty self conscious of what I ate even though I wanted more. My mom would tell me all the time (she still does) that I am fat. Might I add my mother is a 4'10" little Laotion lady.. Yeah of course she would be skinny and me being mixed because my dad is American I'm more curvy. I was never fat as a kid I was pretty small.. well more lanky when I was in junior high then I got boobs and a booty in high school. So you can see why I at the age was pretty self conscious of my body, I think every kid is at that age. I kind of developed an eating disorder at that age where I would hardly eat anything but when I was hungry enough I would binge eat and after I did I would feel horrible about it and starve myself again. After high school I would eat but I was also still doing the same but not as bad, until after I got out of a really bad relationship and was trying to find myself again. At this time I was in cosmetology school so I cut off all my hair and began smoking. None of my parents knew I did smoke but I think my dad suspected it. At that time in my life I was going to school full time and working full time.. I didn't really have time to eat so I took to smoking and drinking coffee with an occasional baked potato or salad from Wendy's. Then I met/reunited with a guy that I dated in high school after him a packed on a few pounds near the end of that relationship because I had gotten pregnant but lost the baby at 10 weeks. That relationship ended because of various things that I won't get into.. That door doesn't need to be opened again. After that I went into a depression and ended up in the hospital, not something that I really talk about. I had to find myself over again, this time I took to just being care free if you say. I was smoking again and also going clubbing every weekend starting Friday nights and ending Sunday mornings. I had lost a bit of weight. Then I met my husband, got married and comfortable, (I also stopped smoking, I'll sneak some every so often but I always tell Nate about it.) and packed on the weight... especially when he was in Korea for a year. I took to comfort eating, my friends knew I was packing on the weight but how do you tell someone they are getting a little heavy when their husband is in another country for a year? So I ate my feelings to the point where I was 140 all the way to when Nate got back and we were getting ready to uplift my live and move to Italy at 175 pounds!

Italy, oh country of tasty carbs is where I gained another 40+ pounds. I packed on the most weight here. I think a mix of missing home, eating out, Nate's work trips, and being in denial of my weight gain, I turned to my beloved friend and comfort food. Earlier this year was an attempt to my weight loss that didn't go as planned I was doing well I had lost around 10 pounds. Then I went stateside and gained it back and my ankle issues didn't help. I guess in a way this blog will help keep me honest and hopefully keep me motivated.

Sorry for a long rant but I figured that I might as well get my weight issues out in the open if I'm gonna help myself.

No more denial!
xx- Jay

Skinny Bunny Cleanse - Day 1

As I mentioned a few days ago, I'm starting the Skinny Bunny Cleans from the Rabbit Food For My Bunny Teeth blog. Since today is day one I'll start by telling you how much I weighed this morning... A big 204.8 pounds... Not too proud of this number. It's not the heaviest because when I got back from vacation back in August I was pushing 208, so I got it down some what, but it's still not healthy.  So here is my critiques of my meals today:

BREAKFAST: Egg whites, spinach, raspberries, and almonds (they went on top of the raspberries). Seasoned the almonds with cinnamon and the egg whites and spinach with Mrs. Dash. 

This breakfast actually wasn't too bad at all. A little band for my taste but for going almost salt free (since the blog said to not add any extra salt or sweeteners to meals) it wasn't bad at all. I kind of enjoyed it.

LUNCH: Raspberries, almonds, and plain non-fat Greek yogurt. Mixed all together with a little cinnamon. Tossed together for a salad.

This was kind of hard for me since I'm not a huge fan of yogurt. Something about the texture kind of weirds me out (don't get me wrong I will eat yogurt, but I have to be craving it), but since its apart of the meal plan I'm going to eat it. This one was a little hard for me, I've decided I don't like plain yogurt, it's not my thing. I wanted to add sweetener to it but I can't because it's not apart of the cleanse. I'm a person that needs to follow the directions to a T. It was filling though and I had to eat it in two sittings. 

DINNER: Spinach, raspberries, almonds, and egg whites. Balsamic vinegar, juice from a lemon wedge, and a little pepper and garlic powered. 

This meal I loved! It was super tasty and filling! My husband thought it was weird though because I had raspberries on my spinach salad lol. Oh well I loved this one!

SNACK: Raspberries, plain non-fat Greek yogurt, almond butter, cinnamon, vanilla extract, and ice cubes. Blended into a smoothie. 

This was pretty delicious, I added more water to it than just a splash because I don't like my smoothies thick. But it's pretty good!

This is my day 1. I think I can get through the week with just eating these meals for 5 days. Lets hope I can! 

On a side note, over the weekend I watched an interesting documentary called Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead. This documentary pulled me in and not only inspired me but my husband as well! Which is a surprise because I was watching it on my laptop while Nate was playing a video game.. He laughed at me when he saw what I was watching. But the Joe Cross inspired us to start juicing! We may not do it as long as he did but I want to try to do it for 10 days! This will be my next challenge. We ordered a juicer of Amazon what Joe recommended on his site, Reboot With Joe! Hopefully it will get to us in about 2 weeks or less because we do live overseas... for now!

Until tomorrow!

xx- Jay

Update!

So last I left off about surgery! That was a few months ago. I know I'm not the best at keeping up with my blog... Sometimes I have things to share and I either get busy or just shy about posting. I should get better about that and just be flat out out there.

Here is a down low about my ankle.. So after months and months of on base rotor visits with their orthopedic surgeon and waiting for a scope to come in for surgery, it came in earlier this month. Well the "tested" it out on the fist guy and it didn't go where it needed to go on him, poor guy but glad it wasn't me!, they sent me off base to an Italian doctor. I finally got in with him this pass Monday before Christmas. Turns out I just needed a (very painful) injection of hyaluronic acid into my ankle, so no surgery for me! I don't understand why the doctors on base wanted to cut me open first then do an injection... Another reason why we can't wait to get back to the states.

Speaking of moving back to the states, we are headed to the great land of chile and pistachio farms of Alamogordo, New Mexico... How exciting.. NOT! We are going to be out in the middle of no where, it the freaking desert.. Hey we are close to the Mexico border... but we can't cross it because it's off limits for Nathan. Well darn.

Then there has been some crazy news. In October we had 3 family members in the hospital. Both of my parents and Nate's mom. Both my parents are fine but we got bad news about Nate's mom. She had been diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. Since we got that news after we found out of Nate's ordered to NM we decided to try to get a humanitarian assignment to CA near his mom. Hopefully we can get them but it will be doubtful, but at least Nate's mom is responding very well to chemo and she is due to have surgery early in January!

So other than that I about to restart my weightless journey again. I weighed myself a few a days ago and I'm tipping the scale at around 204 pounds. Heaviest weight I have ever been in my life. This is going to be a very big challenge for me because Nate also wants to get the move on baby making. So hopefully I can keep up with working out, eating healthy, and losing a healthy amount of weight before and during pregnancy.

Monday will be the start of the Skinny Bunny Cleanse that I found on clean eating, weight loss, and fitness blog called Rabbit Food For My Bunny Teeth. I've been following her for a little while now and I just didn't get motivated until now. I've been missing the gym and have been wanting to start my journey again. I'm excited to get motivated again!

xx- Jaynon